Fasting

I am ashamed to say that I have been a Christian for over 30 years and I can count the number of times I have intentionally fasted on one hand. There have been many years of pregnancies and nursing that have kept fasting at a safe distance. I haven't had to consider it while I was taking care of a little one in the womb or out of it.

There have been times of fasting from activities or from a particular food, i.e. chocolate, mostly. Those fasting times are valid and sincere.



But what are my excuses for not fasting meals? My first experience with fasting was not a real positive one, so I have been slow at repeating it. I was a college student, just learning a bit about the disciplines of Christianity. Wanting to pray sincerely about a matter, I decided I would fast. I remember starting at midnight, probably after my 11:59 pm snack and feeling as though I was starving come breakfast. Just knowing I wasn't going to eat made it worse.



I struggled through the day's classes, constantly thinking about the discomfort in my belly instead of listening to the lectures or spending time praying! The on-campus store held my favorite chocolate-chocolate chip cookies, so they were purchased in anticipation of midnight. The digital clock was my constant companion as I tried to study and maybe even to pray that evening. At 12, I was free! How pathetic...



I heard on a sermon this week that the early church thought it was normal to fast a couple times a week. Jesus said, "When you fast", not if... We live in a time where self-denial is an ugly term and we don't know how to do it. Instant gratification is paramount.

Well, I am guilty. I'm not good at denying self or delaying gratification, but I want that to change.



Today, I started that process by fasting again. Did I forget about food and spend all day in prayer? No, and no. With eight children in the house, that would be an incredible feat. But the fast did look different than the one I did many years ago.



There was time to read the Word, to pray and to praise. I passed up some food and tried to focus on the Lord. Fasting is not about twisting God's arm until He gives you what you want, but drawing near to Him.



I'd like to work up to fasting for days instead of meals. I'd like to say "no" to my flesh more and practice this discipline. Although I have a lot to learn about fasting, I believe God saw my heart and my desire to know Him better today.